Mommy Dilemma

As I have mentioned a couple of times in previous posts, Jacob is going through another separation anxiety phase. People keep telling me that it is perfectly normal at this age, but it doesn't make it any more fun to deal with! He only went through it for a month or two just before he was one, and it didn't seem nearly as severe as the phase we are in now.

Just about everytime he is dropped off at a nursery (YMCA, church, Bible Study) he just cries and cries and is overall very upset. Depending on who is working the particular nursery, he sometimes can be comforted and distracted, other times, he can't. It makes it very hard to get much of a workout in if the childwatch has to call you out to retrieve your crying child after 15 min.

To make things even more fun, this clingy behavior and overall fussiness and whining continues at home. He constantly is begging for a treat ("treee") or his pacifier ("pappy"), neither of which I want him to have. His pacifier has been a nighttime/naptime and travel item ONLY for nearly a year. Why he seems so desperate for it all the time now, is beyond me. Some days, I just can't handle any more whining or fussing...so I give in and let him have the pacifer. It makes a world of difference. He almost seems like a different kid - happy and content for the most part. I also pack the pacifier in his diaper bag and let the nursery workers know that it is there in case of an inconsoleable meltdown. He gets it from them more than half of the time. The same is true when we are out running errands or out to eat and he is just being a major pill - I plug in the pacifier and we can get our errands done or eat our meal out in peace.

So, the dilemma, you ask? I don't know how much 'damage' I am doing by letting him go back to his pacifier. I don't mind him having it when he sleeps because it really does help him sleep better, but I don't want him to have his mouth plugged up all day. He is talking so much and adding to his vocabulary daily - I don't want the pacifier to get in the way of that. Plus, I would like for him to completely drop the pacifier in the next 6-9 months, and this just seems like a giant step backwards.

For now, the pacifier is being used when absolutely necessary, but I am trying to thicken up my skin a little more each day so the whining and fussing doesn't get to me as much. I keep dropping him off at nurseries and hope that if I just keep doing it, Jacob will eventually get back to his happy go lucky self about being in a nursery...or get over the phase faster. We'll see.